#Relatability (Also, The Princess Bride)

FEAR NOT I AM STILL ALIVE

I KNOW

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING

because just like I can hypnotize you over the internet I can mind read over the internet.

I was supposed to post this a few days ago.

WE HAD A HECTIC DAY, OKAY? and also I literally procrastinated all weekend but yeah no one really needs to read that. I have at least like ten blog posts I haven't read. Why did everyone conspire and post while I was procrastinating??? :P

But to make up for it, we have a post which I think is REALLY FUN for today! I hope you like The Princess Bride, because today, we're taking a look at readerly/writerly/bloggerly insights from the movie. What's that? You didn't think The Princess Bride had writerly insights?

Well prepare to be mindblown.

The Mindblowing Part

We shall start with this. This is a writer's trade, in a nutshell.



This pretty much sums up what I think of when I think of being a writer. SO DON'T DEBATE A WRITER ABOUT THE PRESTIGIOUSNESS OF THEIR WORK. CAUSE THEY HAVE MY PERMISSION TO CHUCK THIS AT YOU AND THEN LAUGH EVILLY. All writers have their evil laughs perfected, so you don't wanna mess with that. I mean, part of writing the villain is BECOMING THE VILLIAN. So don't get in an evil laugh war with a writer. You will fail.

This is a writer when you tell them to give up a secret from their novel. I MEAN, WRITERS ARE THE MASTERS AT NOT GIVING SPOILERS.



Or, if you try to get them to betray their friend's book secrets. Ha. Ha. Try that and let me know how it goes. We may tell our secrets to each other BUT NO ONE ELSE. It's mostly just for the critique purpose.

This is a reader when it appears as if the author is about to kill off their favorite character.



AND OF COURSE THE FAV CHARACTER STILL DIES. Because most writers love the feels. But that doesn't stop the poor, helpless readers from petitioning the dastardly author who has just ruined their lives with the stroke of a pen. *cue cackling* :P

And this is pretty much the author while the reader is flailing and weeping and sobbing over the death of the hero's best friend.



Because if someone told me they cried in my book, would I sympathize with them? NO WAY. I'd be like, I AM UTERRLY THRILLED MY BOOK TURNED YOU INTO AN EMOTIONAL WRECK SO THERE. It basically just means your writing is good. SO SORRY BUT NOT SORRY.

This is a writer trying to make a good first impression.



Because our social skilz probably aren't the most finely honed even if we're extraverts whaddya expect we spend a lot of time yelling at imaginary characters and running fingers over keyboards and trying to keep up with word goals. 

This is a writer who is trying to kill their hero's horse but just can't do it.



Well yeah most likely but now you can be in my exclusive club.  Ahem. I mean, kill the hero's best friend? NO PROBLEM. Kill his horse, or his dog, or his chinchilla, NUH-UH. It's very strange, really.

When a reader's favorite book is insulted by some helpless individual who didn't know better.



Because dat is serious. YOU EXPECT ME TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU CRITICIZE MY FAV AUTHOR? *draws lighsabre calmly* because even though this is a princess bride post we all know Inigo Montoya would be amazing in a Star Wars movie


When someone asks a writer about their current WIP



Do you want me to start at point A,B or Q? Cause this could definitely go on for a while.

When a reader predicts the surprise ending of a book and people ask him how he did it.



Because when you predict the ending FOUR PAGES BEFORE IT IS REVEALED seriously though I did that once then you definitely want some credit. Especially when everyone else is flailing over how hard the ending hit them.

When a reader picks up a book with no action and tons of wordy prose.



OKAY I DIGRESS SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT KIND OF BOOK. Not me, that's for sure. Something needs to be happenin'.

When someone says they like neither reading nor writing.



SO. What do you do all day, have that thing called a life play ping-pong? I MEAN YOU GOTTA LIKE AT LEAST ONE.

(No idea how this relates BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST IT. Prizes for whoever can come up with the best reason this relates to writing/reading/blogging. well not really but if you have a thought tell me  So anyhow...)



When someone mentions to a blogger they think reading blogs is a waste of time.



READING BLOGS IS AWESOME. FEEL FREE TO DEBATE ME ON THIS ONE. oh that's right it literally takes no guts for me to say that because most of you are reading a blog right now

When a writer tries to write a foreign character with an accent



Yeah I don't recommend that unless you're really experienced. I tried once. We're already ripping our reader's feels to shreds, it's nothing if we make them imagine an Irish accent.

When a blogger tries to quote someone famous without looking the quote up



EPIC. FAIL. But you risk the chance of no one having any idea of what the quote was originally before it was mutilated by the finicky memory of your bloggerly mind. you can totally quote me on that one sorry not sorry

(oh oh I almost forgot Camp Nano started. I'm totally freaking out. I'm perfectly calm and ready. If you're also freaking out calm and ready, comment below and we can freak out be calm and ready together.
And if you have any April Fool's pranks stories (or just prank ideas) SHARE THEM WITH THE WORLD. Show off your amazing pranking skills. C'mon, ya know ya want to!)

~Jonathan

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48 comments:

  1. Camp nano started...? *flail*
    But no, I approve of this post. Very much.

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    1. Yeah April 1. I know.
      I knew you would. :P

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    2. Yay xP
      In that case I should probably start writing....

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    3. Yeah that would probably be.... prudent. XD

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  2. This was soooo funny! Best! Post! Ever! I put a sticky note on the bottom of our mouse and my dad couldn't move the mouse and almost restarted the computer before I explained. April fools! Annnnnd Camp is just insane. Totally.

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    1. Thanks! I try. :P
      Ooooh that's a good one. I pulled off a parody of the Declaration of Independence explaining why the forum mod should be impeached. XD Two other friends helped me, though. A lot. :D
      I KNOW I LOVE CAMP IT'S AWESOME. although maybe mildly stressful...

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    2. :D Nice! YES CAMP IS SOOOO STRESSFUL!!! *flops tiredly*

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    3. YES but it's a good stress that keep me on my toes, so I can't complain. :P

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  3. THANK YOU, JONATHAN!! :D
    Okay, first: gotta say, I LOVE PRINCESS BRIDE, and all these gifs were awesome!
    Second: the "I've Seen Worse" gif can be used when you read a book that info-dumps a lot and you just cannot keep going, and then you're like, "oh wait, I've seen worse. I've read the Hunger Games" :P
    Third: I am freaking out... *flails* Uh, I mean... calm and ready. Let us go through this together, mon ami! :)

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    1. YOU'RE WELCOME.
      I know I love it also! I'm glad you liked them.
      Ooooohhhhh good one I didn't think of that. :D
      *flails calmly* Cause you can totally flail calmly. It makes perfect sense. But we shall get through this. :D

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  4. Haha, excellent post :) My favorite part is about killing the hero's chinchilla. I mean seriously, how cruel can you be? ;)

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    1. Thanks! I KNOW. I mean, who would do such a thing? :P

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  5. Very funny post, Jonathan. And very accurate in many instances. The whole time I was thinking of my boyfriend, coincidentally also named Jonathan, because he is obsessed with the Princess Bride and would probably enjoy this post, despite not being a writer.
    Procrastination?? Pffft. No writers have problems with that! Ever. At all. Certainly not me...*cough*

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    1. Oh yeah I saw when I was on your blog the other day that his name was Jonathan. *nods sagely* I totally approve. :P OH HE IS? *adds more approval marks*
      Wait... procrastination? What's that again... I think I may have heard the term before *glances around room nervously*

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  6. Lol funny post :)
    And yes we can all freak out about Camp NaNo...... And eat sour path kids. Oh and yes Jonathan we all conspired against you and posted. *says sarcastically*

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    1. Yep totally. Freaking out and eating sour patch kids are like the same thing. :P
      I KNEW IT. So the truth comes out. I'll bet YOU were the ringleader. :P

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  7. Oh my gosh. I laughed my way through this entire post and totally agree with you on like every point!!! This was so fun to read and totally made my afternoon!!! Thanks so much! lol, lol, lol. If you can't tell, I love that movie. :P

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    1. Hehe thanks Bethany! I'm glad you're not gonna debate me on the value of reading blogs. :P I love it also. :D

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    2. That is one topic I will certainly NOT debate. I'm sure we could find a few others though...

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    3. Hehe yeah I didn't think so. We probably could though. :P

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  8. I didn't lead this rebellion against you. It could have been anyone........

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    1. AHA so you admit there was a conspiracy. :P

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    2. What if it was me........
      *does stalky ninja moves*

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    3. True, but it doesn't seem likely seeing as you don't have a blog *drops hint* :P But I guess you shall be number two on my suspect list... 0_0 XD

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  9. Gotta love all those Princess Bride quotes. B-)
    I thoroughly enjoyed this post...even though our internet was down yesterday so I read it late. Oh well... *shrugs*
    Quick question...what exactly IS "Camp NaNo"?? I've heard several different bloggers mention it, but frankly, I have no idea what it is...would someone mind enlightening me??
    Oh, and about that "I've seen worse" quote: that's when you pick up a book someone has recommended you, read it and realize it's pretty terrible, but then, when your friend asks you what you think of it, reply "I've seen worse". ;)(This actually happened to me...and those were my exact words...followed by other words of course, but that was how I started. ;)
    Thanks for the post. It was a relief to know the ground didn't open up and swallow you...or something equally bad. ;)

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    1. Yes I know you do. :)
      Thanks! I feel ya though, our internet goes down sometimes too. :D

      Okay so basically Camp Nano is in July and April. What you do is you and a group of other people (up to 11) get thrown in a "cabin" (it's all online) together where you word war, talk about your writing, share writerly insights, give each other virtual sour patch :P, etc. etc. You set a goal at the beginning of the month and then just try to complete it with the help of your cabinmates. You can make it so that you randomly get assigned a cabin, but also if you know someone who is starting a private cabin that's probably better since then you don't end up with a bunch of random people. :D

      Oooohhhhhhh good one. I never would have thought of that. :D
      Hehe yeah I'm glad you were relieved. :)

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    2. That's exactly what came to my mind for the "I've seen worse" GIF, Rebekah!! *high five*

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    3. *returns the high-five* Thank you very much! ;) *gives a sweeping bow too...just for good measure* (and because that's what I do when someone compliments me. :P)

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  10. Hi, I think thisis the first time I've commented.
    Camp is stressful when you're behind, amazing when you manage to get ahead. Which keeps changing. Yesterday, I was behind ,then I caught up and now I'm starting to fall behind, because I haven't written anything today. But I live in the part of the world where it's midday on Wednesday and should be able to get it all done.

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    1. Hi Anna! I think it might be, but thanks for commenting! :D
      Yes it is! So far I've managed to stay just a little ahead, but today I only got half my goal written. *sighs* I think I'm still good though since I was a little ahead before. :)

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  11. SO TRUE! Especially the part about villains. LOL! I often find myself doing the strangest things to get the character right, such as limping, facial expressions or swinging a sword around a room. :D

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    1. I know, right? Or talking in a weird accent. Just hope no one else walks into the room. XD

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  12. I haven't seen "The Princess Bride", but all those gifs.... YES, YES, YES!! The 11th is probably my favorite. When a gal in my Sunday school class told me she didn't like to read, I'm like WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?? XD

    Love the post, Jonathan!

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    1. Yes I know! Like, what else would you do? XD

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  13. Haha, this is a good post, Jonathan. XD I like it. The Princess Bride is like my favorite movie, so this is brilliant. XP

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    1. Thanks, Sarah! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

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  14. As soon as I read the title to your post, I was like "Oh, no! An instant hit." Lo, and behold, I was correct. Seriously, this is one the most original blog posts I've ever read XD I agreed on every SINGLE point. I'm going to see how many times I can trick Google into letting me share and +1 it :D

    Also, for the odd GIF out, I think it totally relates to reading an awful book (or something along those lines). Because let's face it. Not everyone who writes should. D: I shall await my prize.

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    1. xD Thanks I was hoping people would like it. :D Good guess though. I'm glad we agree. :):) Haha tricking Google? Let me know how that goes... :P

      Ohhhh yeah. It's true, sadly. Oh, the prize? *glances around room nervously*
      Well... *chucks virtual sour patch at you* THERE YA GO. :D

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  15. Oh my gosh you killed me. Like, I'm dying. *giggles quietly and laughs because The Princess Bride is L I F E*
    Also, for the gif: when you read a REALLY feelsy book and your friends try to revive you from the depths of despair the author cast you into, and one of them who's a book worm all the way is just like, "Oh please. I've seen so much worse." XP

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    1. Oops sorry. I don't wanna be charged with murder. :P I guess if posts suddenly start vanishing on your blog THEN WE'LL KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU SURVIVED. *dramatic music* xD
      Oooh good one. :D

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  16. The Princess Bride is one of my family's favorites. We quote it all the time, and we've seen it way too many times... I love these gifs though. They're hilarious! "Think they can do it?" "It would take a miracle." "Goodbye!!" ;-)

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    1. Yep same. I'm glad you liked them! :D

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  17. This post was awesome, I was cracking up. I am a big Princess Bride fan and this was just perfect XD Good thought too!
    ~Grace

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

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  18. You almost had me laughing out loud several times and that is no measly feat. Excellently entertaining and educational post!

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  19. This is literally the best post ever. I just discovered your blog (which is weird because all these amazing blogs I've never heard of before keep popping up all over I don't understand) and I think this post might be from a little while ago but I had to comment because I mean it's WRITING combined with THE PRINCESS BRIDE. Essentially my whole life. All these are way to relatable and funny! Also I have an idea for the "I've seen worse" one. I was thinking like when you read a moment when the author is trying to be really dramatic and gory in like a battle scene or something and you are just like "please, that is a mere scrape compared to ______ (insert terrible injury you read in another book). Anyways yes that was my idea, and I loved this post and I'm excited to read more of your blog!
    -Vivian
    http://moonsworlds.blogspot.com

    P.S. the one about killing the pets is so me XD

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    1. Well thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Lol yeah it is from a while ago... I changed my blog template since this so that's why the font is a little wacky. XD Ooh, that's a good one! Thanks for commenting! I'm super glad you like my blog. ;)

      (ha so true)

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