15 Writerly Excuses That Must be Crushed if You Want to Survive NaNo

In which Jonathan does a short, non-official NaNo prep post. Even though he may or may not be doing NaNo. This remains undetermined as he is currently in Washington D. C. without his laptop, taking a break from his novel and other life things.

So yeah. All that was to say that if he returns to find his blog exploding, he'll remain unsurprised. Hopefully this 'schedule post' thing even works. Otherwise you guys won't be seeing this for a while and may turn into an angry mob due to his lack of posts recently and his newfound (yet very strange) talent of writing introductions in third person. 

But anyways. Let's take a look at some of these excuses. Who's ready to chop 'em all to bits in perfect ninja style? 






'but I actually have a life' 

So do I. Actually... I thought all humans had lives by definition? Could be wrong on that though, I haven't googled it recently. 

'I just don't know where to take my story'

That's what an outline's for, dude. I've heard they help with this type of thing. although I wouldn't know because pantsing xP

'I have to eat'

Okay that's totally an excuse but at least you've got your priorities right. Kudos to you. If you pick the right food and you have the right amount of skill then you can eat while you type. 


'school'

actually this is more a valid obstacle than a true 'excuse.' so okaaaay I concede that this is valid. 

'I'm tired and I need sleep'

Puh-lease. I see right through this. YOU'RE A TEENAGER (okay so fine if you're not a teen then you can get away with this excuse), hence you automatically have the ability to stay up writing until at least midnight. Period. And no it has nothing to do with caffeine. Pssht, of course not.

'I need inspiration'

NO YOU DO NOT. AND I HAVE THE PROOF RIGHT HERE: 
http://forgingofstories.blogspot.com/2016/03/why-you-shouldnt-wait-for-inspiration.html (Don't worry you can stalk this guy, he doesn't bite. Normally.) 

'my laptop battery died'

Alright fine. Time to whip out the pen and paper. Let's do this thing in old school style. 

'I can't type and eat pizza at the same time'

WELL YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EITHER 1) develop superpowers that allow you to eat pizza with one hand while typing with the other or 2) grow another arm or 3) pick one or the other. 

'there's a cat walking on my keyboard'


Well great, hopefully it lands on the space key fairly often so that it can help you boost your count up. 

'my brain is fried'

It's a little known fact that fried brains produce the greatest art. Totally a verifiable fact. 

'my fingers hurt'


Welcome to the new normal for the rest of the month. 

'I hate my novel'

Welp, so do the other bazillion people doing NaNo. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EDIT, KID. KEEP WRITING. 

'nothing is legible any longer it just looks like mumbo jumbo' 

That's because it is mumbo jumbo, probably. DO. NOT. EDIT. RESIST THE URGE. 

'I accidentally killed off my main character'

WELL SOMEHOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARDS WITHOUT EDITING THAT. Revive them somehow, I don't know. 

'I don't know what my novel's about anymore'

THAT'S PERFECTLY ALRIGHT as long as there are words somewhere. 50k of them, to be exact. 


And seeing as I did a long introduction I'm copping out on the conclusion. (No, I am definitely not using the introduction as an excuse. Nope, don't go there. XD) Who's all ready for NaNo? :D

~Jonathan

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56 comments:

  1. *dies laughing* THIS WAS HILARIOUS WHAT EVENNNNN???

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  2. Totally laughing over here. Like, a lot. I'm not doing NaNo, but if I had a novel, then maybe I would.

    I think I should probably just invest in a cat to help me out. XD And lotsa pizza. 😜

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    1. Hahaha, well next year maybe. ;)

      Ooh but you can probably even get a cat for free maybe... XP Yes pizza is essential.

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  3. That is hilarious! My day was already good, but you made it better.

    Gonna have to especially work on not editing while I'm writing *inner perfectionist cringes*

    The one time I tried outlining I accidentally started another book.

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    1. *swooping bow* Glad to do it. XD

      SAAAAME I do it pretty much all the time. Except for in word wars lol.

      REALLY? Okay I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed 0-0

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  4. lol "my laptop died" THATS MY LINE.

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    1. Hehe unfortunately I can't use this one that often because my laptop battery lasts for like 10 hours... XD

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  5. Yasssssss
    I AM SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS ABOUT NANO ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY
    the pizza excuse is legit
    I'm going to start researching to possibility of a third arm...... actually I'm kidding

    I'm going to survive with chai tea and tears
    Also I need to finish outlining lol cause guess what idiot changed the whole plot and charcters three times?
    Ha me

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    1. I FEEL THE SAME WAY [also I feel like I've been saying that to you a lot lately hm XD]
      indeed it is
      ooh okay cool I'll help... oh okay also cool XP

      ah chai tea is good though. tears, not so much.
      heh well shoo WHAT ARE YOU DOING ONLINE THEN? GO. OUTLINE. (which is what I also should be doing but psshtt I'll get to that later XD)

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  6. hahaa I accidentally killed my main character xXDDD not happening with me. haha THERE IS NO WAY HE COULD DIE - ever. not happening.

    NANO scares me so bad I can't believe I'm doing it

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    1. WELL ACTUALLY THERE ARE MANY WAYS ANYONE COULD DIE. :P I'll betcha he trips over a spatula and breaks his neck. Dazed, you'll write an entire funeral scene to finish the book before realizing THAT HE DIED. Just warning ya. XP

      ikr I feel the same way like what am I thinking

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    2. I don't think that would happen to Aaron Shaw.

      he lives in 1886.

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    3. hm. kay alright scratch the spatula

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  7. I'm pretty sure that I have said all of these at some point. XD

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    1. wow really that's actually kinda impressive XD

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  8. At first I thought, WAIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE HOW CAN YOU BE POSTING THIS WHEN YOU'RE GONE?!?!?
    And the other thought was I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE GONE, WHY HAVEN'T YOU MENTIONED BEFORE THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY ABLE TO GET ON, AND WHY AREN'T YOU ON THE FORUM?!?!?

    *reads introduction*

    Oh.


    *ahem*

    Well, it worked. XD And this list is amazing and hilarious and all that good stuff. XD XD

    But I don't think I'll be doing Nano... Do. Not. Shoot. Me. XP Because I need to finish OYAN first, but then maybe maybe maybe we'll see what happens. :)

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    1. WELL SEEING AS I'M REPLYING TO THIS LATEISH I'M COMPLETELY BACK NOW SO YAY. XD

      Well thanks! Whyyy noooott oh wait *reads your excuse* Okay that's valid. XP

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  9. I'm not doing NaNo this year (*sobs*) but this made me laugh so hard! Cat walking across the keyboard--yep, totally. Sore fingers--yah, that totally happened. Trying to eat while typing--don't look at my greasy, crumb-filled keyboard. Needing to sleep--go teenagers! ;) And school--ick. That's the main reason I'm not doing it this year. I have to adult and do the college thing. :(

    Anyway, this totally made me laugh. Have some NaNo fun for me. :)

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    1. Aw well maybe you'll be more open next year. :D Glad you could relate though, thanks for commenting!

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  10. I laughed when I got to "I accidentally killed off my main character," and I relate to the "I don't even know what my novel is about anymore." random stuff starts happening and before long I'm like, "okay, what is even going on? How did I get to this point?!"

    I've heard (or read) several people mention the NaNo thing. What is it??

    Also, half the time I go to post a comment on a Blogger post, I hit the sign out button. It's where the publish button should be!! Does this ever happen to anyone else, or is it just me...?

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    1. BAHAHA IT'S SO TRUE THOUGH. Like what is even happening?? XD

      Ooh okay so basically it's where you try to write 50k in the month of November. XP The idea is to write an entire novel.

      OKAY NO BUT I HAVE A SIMILAR STRUGGLE OF ACCIDENTALLY HITTING 'DELETE' INSTEAD OF 'REPLY'. XD

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  11. *wishes there was a like button to hit* funny post :)

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  12. Wow, Jonathan. You actually wrote 15 reasons XP I'm impressed

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  13. Haha! Great tips. I've never done NANO. How does one go about signing up? (or what ever you do.)
    Oh, and I liked your 3rd person intro. Very clever. XD

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    1. You should totally do it! I'm doing it for my first time this November as well :) Just go to nanowrimo.org and create an account, unless you've done Camp before. Then you just sign in :) Set up a profile, novel, and find buddies. All you have to do is update your word count on the website and it will track your stats (you write in a word processor). Your preset goal is to write 50K in the month of November on a brand new novel (but that last rule is often broken).

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    2. Go to nanowrimo.org and click the create an account button. (I think it's top right of the screen.) When you do, go find me and add me as a buddy!

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    3. *points to the above replies* listen to those guys, they know what they're talking about. XD

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  14. I love this post-- I'm definitely referring to this when I'm brain-dead. Now I feel re-inspired to do NaNo (I was getting really stressed out and thinking of not doing it but now... I feel like I need to again) Thanks for this :)
    -Vivian

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm glad that it helped inspire you, that's always a good thing. XD

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  15. Awesome! I can relate to most of these. :) I've not done NaNo, and might not because I'll be a film camp for a few days and have a TON of school . . . we'll see. I'm attempting to plan now and decide later. :) I enjoyed this!

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    1. Ooh well I hope you decide to do it!! >.> Totally get ya with business though.

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  16. 'I have to eat' is totally the best excuse (amirite?).

    School is another good excuse (and a thorn in my flesh)

    Yep. I usually use the I'm Tired excuse because I'm a lazy and bad writer ;D

    I guess I never use the laptop excuse because pen and paper are my bread and butter.

    whelp, now I know which excuses to never use if I actually start NANOWRIMO.



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    1. Yeeeesss it's totally legit. XD

      Uggh ikr it's so true.

      *chuckles* :P

      Ooh really? Heh I don't think I know anyone who uses pen and paper, that's super cool!

      haha yup you definitely do :P

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  17. I have that one valid excuse:SCHOOL!*tears hair out* I like school, except when I'd prefer writing (which is almost all the time) and when I'm in one of those horrible cliffhanger books. XD
    I want to do NaNo. Haven't decided yet. . .

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    1. Ugh I feel ya. XD Except I never really like school lol. :P
      Ooh you should, it should be fun!

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  18. I refuse to start this comment with haha, even though that is what my fingers went for. It was a funny post, though, and take heart, schedule post buttons are amazing!! :D By far my favorite: "It's a little known fact that fried brains produce the greatest art. Totally a verifiable fact." XD It's true. The fact that you as a beta did not burn my novel is proof. (Totally just verified your own fact for you WITH you :P)

    Yes, I'm doing NaNo this year. For my first time. In the middle of the holidays and other responsible siblings leaving for two weeks. And life. And publication of my non-NaNo novel. What am I even doing? I don't know. But I have begun planning and I refuse to fall short of 50K or pass November up yet again.

    I will do this and I will win. Or quite possibly I will die trying. 30,010 is my monthly all-time to beat and you were there for that. *inhale* *exhale* Even if you don't do NaNo, I am slating you for word wars on MyWriteClub :D

    I also feel like I should give you credit here for Camp NaNo. You know I wouldn't have hit my goal at all without The Most Dangerous Writing App, right? Because I'm the writer who stares at the screen plotting in her head for 10 minutes instead of typing. This comment will probably take me a freaking 10 minutes before I finish. It's pathetic. So kudos to you for giving me a successful method of NOT STOPPING. It shall be my friend again this time :)

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    1. WHOA OKAY O.O *hands you the longest comment in ever award* BUT AS A GENERAL REPLY, YOU WILL WIN. OR YOU WILL DIE. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN. (since I'm obvs really experienced having done this before not XD) And yes the Most Dangerous Writing App is legit a lifesaver I feel the same way about it <3 XD

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  19. Genius. Genius. This is just genius.

    (Although I totally can't relate to #1. I legit don't have a life... XD #slightlykidding)

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    1. *swooping bow* I'LL TAKE A SALUTE. :P

      (bahahaha nah you have a life. XD)

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  20. Rebekah enjoys talking about herself in third person...mostly because sometimes things she says sound more intelligent when coming from a narrator's perspective. However, sometimes it's only because she has been writing about various different characters in this way for so long that she's stuck writing in third person for hours afterward.
    She thanks you for an interesting and educational post, Jonathan, and though she is not doing NaNo this year, Rebekah has found at least one useful reminder from your post: to not make excuses or put things off...just write!

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    1. Jonathan enjoys talking about himself in third person also but mostly just because then he can say nice things about himself without sounding egotistical. However, seeing as he writes in first person tense, it's much harder for him and hence he gets more credit for being able to write about himself in third person. (note how he just subsequently proved his previous point masterfully)

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  22. Awesome post! And i loved your intro. Still deciding if I'll be doing NaNo, but am getting an outline ready for if I do. Hope DC goes well!

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    1. Well thanks, glad you enjoyed and hope you do end up doing NaNo! :D

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  23. Oh my gosh, I literally laughed. This was so hilarious! XD
    But I admit.... I will find myself saying some of those things once NaNo starts. *mumbles under breath* I will not survive this....
    ~Jaclynn~

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    1. Haha well glad you found it humorous! ;)
      Lol yeah you probably will... BUT NO YOU SHALL DEFINITELY SURVIVE. Maybe. XP

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  24. If you don't mind me asking, what is NaNo? I'm assuming it stands for something.

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    1. NaNo is short for NaNoWriMo which is short for National Novel Writing Month.

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  25. Replies
    1. Yup, exactly like Grace said. National Novel Writing Month. You try to write 50k in a month. :)

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  26. Man that sounds hard! I can see why you're all freaking out about it. ;)

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