Confessions of a Guy Blogger: Seven Secrets You Never Would Have Known

(Edited version of a guest post I did for Abi aaageeess ago)

Today we’re discussing GUY BLOGGERS. Yes, those strange creatures with blue and green and brown blogs that float conspicuously through the crowd of girl bloggers with pink and purple and red blogs.

Yup. We’re on the same page now, aren’t we? (that was rhetorical; don’t answer that)

There’s a certain amount of mystery about these finicky creatures; a certain amount of wondering. What do these mysterious bloggers use as motivation? Why do they blog? Are all of them agreed on the fact that Pinterest is feminine? WHY DO THEY NOT USE A PINK OR PURPLE BLOG TEMPLATE?



SECRET #1: THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE A SEMI-SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF FOLLOWERS IS BECAUSE WE STICK OUT. SHH.


Because apparently we stick out. We’re basically just the ducks paddling through a pond 85% full of swans.  And while normally you wouldn’t want to stick out, in the blogiverse, it just means more publicity. And more publicity = followers. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BLOGGING SKILLS.  (Ok so maybe that helps a little? But that’s not relevant so moving on.)

SECRET #2: WE’RE PROBABLY NOT ALL AS TECHY AS WE SEEM, EVEN IF WE HAVE NERD GLASSES.

While some of us are extremely techy, this definitely IS NOT a general rule. Not all guys are super into computers and tech things. Of course those of us who are super techy are the ones who never have problems with their blog. (*cough*notme*cough*). So if the dude’s blog is imploding, he probably broke his blog html so give him a break. (DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT THIS MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME) If his blog looks gorgeous and you’ve never heard a reference to any problems whatsoever, he’s got this tech thing in the bag.

SECRET #4: SOMETIMES WE DON’T READ EVERY POST FROM EVERY BLOG WE SUSCRIBE TO.


But let’s be real, guys. NOBODY DOES. LIKE WHO EVEN HAS TIME FOR THAT? So this point probably shouldn’t even be here because it’s more of a general blogging secret, not just something that applies to guys. Don’t tell anyone I let the cat out of the bag and I won’t have to hypnotize you, kay?


SECRET #5: WE ONLY KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING ABOUT HALF THE TIME. OTHER THAN THAT, WE JUST WING IT.

I would give more details on this but basically this post is a perfect example in and of itself. You’re welcome.

(ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ME WRITING THIS) 

SECRET #6: FANGUYS ARE ACTUALLY A VALID THING. SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

I KNOW. ALL THIS TIME YOU THOUGH THERE WAS ONLY FANGIRLS. *pops that bubble* Yes, fanguys are definitely a thing. Although we definitely don’t have the numbers that fangirls do. Basically though this just gives what we say more weight. FEEL OUR POWER MWAHAHAHA.

SECRET #7: OUR SECRET IDENTITY = WAFFLE-ADORING DRAGONS. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

#SHOCKVALUE. HA I GOT YOU FOR A SECOND DIDN’T I?  Because I’m actually just kidding. Maybe.

SECRET #8: SOMETIMES WE ARE DEVIOUS AND WE SKIP REASONS. JUST TO SEE IF WE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.


WE’RE BRILLIANT MASTERMINDS, WHAT CAN I SAY? We don’t always employ this tactic though. Just sometimes. And when we do, we tack an extra reason on to the end. But hey, if you realized there was a missing reason, kudos to you. I applaud your skills.

Of course, now that I told you all of this, the secret society of guy bloggers will have to send an assassin after me. The same assassin will probably come after you also, now that you have this secret information in your mind. HEAD FOR THE HILLS.


But hey, before they find you, you might as well find out everything you’ve wanted to know about guy bloggers. Anything you want to know? Ask me in the comments! Also, what’s your biggest blogging confession?

~ Jonathan

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45 comments:

  1. What is my biggest blogging confession? Well, I suppose it's the fact that I don't even have a blog. Does that count?. ;) XP
    Very interesting information. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for that assassin. Thanks for warning. ;)
    Nice post!
    Oh, and just in case you weren't kidding, here are some waffles. All waffle-adoring blogger dragons deserve waffles.

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    1. Hmmm... nope sorry that does not count as a confession, since I already knew it mwahaha. :P
      Thanks! Haha no problem, you can probably fend him off. ;)
      YAY THANK SO MUCH LOL *devours waffles*

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  2. Ah, yes, elusive reason #3. I remember this post, and it remains one of my favorites. XD
    But you should be able to evade the assassin, bc ninja skills. XD and Phil also. *nods*

    So what made you decide to start a blog?

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    1. Omw yeesss I totally remember you pointing that out! XP Haha thanks.
      Pssht yeah I'll be fine of course, it's everyone else I'm worried about. :P

      Hmm okay well I don't really remember exactly? I KNOW THAT'S LIKE A SUPER LAME ANSWER. xD I think it was a blend of wanting to write things to share and wanting to get some publicity? Perhaps? IDK FOR SURE THOUGH

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  3. Oh my lands! YES on number 5 and Peter. That made me laugh out loud (alone in my room with tons of strangers downstairs #awkward). Really though, your first one was spot-on. I might have to admit to that being the reason I looked at your blog in the first place? But, I liked the content, hence the follow. :)

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    1. Haha never heard 'oh my lands' before, but I think I like that. xD WELL OKAY BUT strangers hearing you laughing may be awkward but then they'll know that you're a fun and bouncy person because you're laughing. You're welcome. :P WELL ALRIGHT BUT AT LEAST I CALLED THAT ONE. XD Well thanks!

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  4. Okay. This is awesomeness. The GIFs are on point, and I loved the fan guy thing! XD

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    1. Well thanks Clara glad you enjoyed it!!

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  5. Really neat idea for a post, I have to say, guy bloggers and even guy writers are a whole new breed for me. In my circle I have many intellectual guy friends but very few writers, so it's been cool to get to know you a little bit and see the differences and similarities in the species. XD
    What's the hardest thing you find being a guy blogger? And as a writer/reader, what are some things that girl writers get wrong about your kind that bother you?
    (Been DYING to ask these kind of questions!)

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    1. Thanks! (Abi sorta gave it to me haha xP) SAME ACTUALLY. I don't think I know (in person) any other guys writers... except for one? And my brother but that doesn't entirely count lol. XD
      Hmm. Well. The hardest thing is probably when your blogging friends do girly posts and you feel the obligation to comment but HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY. (which sounds really shallow but it's the best I can come up with on short notice lol). And hmm... I'm not sure really? THEY HONESTLY DON'T GET THAT MUCH WRONG. If I think of something I shall poke you though

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    2. That's so odd because there are SO many published popular male writers but you can never find them in day to day life...hm.
      Haha, that makes sense. I can even relate to that on some level. I am probably the world's least girliest girl. Or among the top ten anyway.
      Really? That is excellent then. I'm always afraid of presenting a boy wrong and all the male readers rolling their eyes.

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    3. IKR it's so true! I've always been a little confused by that, lol. xP
      Ah okay good. :D Hehehe well that's pretty cool, I wonder if you can like get an award? :P Bahaha I wouldn't worry too much about that (although confession: I DO THE SAME THING FOR GIRL CHARACTERS SO)

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  6. Ha ha, this post is great! I love those references to all the pink and purple blogs out there! :D

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    1. THANKS OLIVIA of course your blog is blue so bonus points for you. :P

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  7. HA! This was really good. I actually didn't notice the missing reason until you mentioned it. :P

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    1. WELL THANKS! Mwahahaha you need to work on your ninja skills then. :P

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  8. HAH! I loved this. I love that we have some guys blogging in the community coming up with cleaver content like this. I would love to see a list of reasons why most guys don't blog! LIKE WHY?

    You rock Jonathan!!

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    1. Lol well thanks! Glad you liked it :D I WOULD WRITE THAT POST EXCEPT I HAVE NO IDEA REALLY.

      Haha thanks! :)

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    2. Well, I didn't even know it was a thing. But I think it is one thing. We are too cool!

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  9. NOW I GET GUY BLOGGERS. :-P
    This post was awesome. And you're hilarious.

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    1. WELL GLAD I COULD HELP WITH THAT. XD
      Well thanks, and thanks.

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  10. YES YES YES!!!!!! This is the perfect combination of sarcasm and truth. Especially the nerd glasses. πŸ˜‚ (Also, and this is kinda creepy, but we should have a private chat sometime. Because I don't have that many guy friends, and you seem so cool and honestly you look a lot like the identical twin I never had. NOT TO BE CREEPY lol. But think about it. πŸ˜‚ )

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    1. WELL THANKS. Haha that was the goal. ;) OMW RIGHT SO TRUE. (Pfftt nah you're not creepy at all you do know you're talking to a self proclaimed ninja stalker right. :P You were in the 5k1Day Hangout but you never got online? But yeah anyways random fact there. *goes off to contact you on your blog*)

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  11. Replies
    1. Well it was an accident at first but then Krystal (first comment) pointed it out to me so I twisted it a little and added number 8. XD

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  12. Yes. We're on the same page. Well, actually, I don't know. You might be looking at a different page as I type this. :P

    Seriously, though. This was great. :) (Also Krystal beat me to my question.)

    Biggest blogging confession... hm... maybe... hm... I think... I think it's that I honestly don't have anything to say. I'm just saying... stuff. And that probably made no sense. Anyway.

    The gifs were perfect. *nods*

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    1. NOPE I'M HERE. *waves*

      Well thanks! (haha well great minds think alike *points to Krystal's comment*)

      You don't have anything to say. And... yet... you still say stuff? LOGICALLY THIS DOES NOT HOLD UP. XP (it's okay, we'll accept it :P)

      Haha well thanks! Couldn't find any of dragons+waffles which I thought was a travesty but yaknow I did my best. :P

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  13. Eeee I wonder why there aren't many guy bloggers?? Like. What. Looking at my bookshelf, I want to say there are an equal amount of books by guys as there are girls, so why are there more girls in the blogosphere? O.oooo

    Anywho, I AGREE WITH REASON 6 (i think it was reason 6?) ABOUT NOT READING EVERY POST FROM EVERY BLOG I'M SUBSCRIBED TO. I usually scroll through my blogger feed and click on the ones that intrigue me most, or the blogs I usually enjoy reading. (like yours) I'd love to read everything, but ... WHO HAS THE TIME? Especially in Nano ... XP

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    1. SAME. It doesn't really make sense? Maybe blogging just holds more of an appeal to girls lol. xP

      WELL GLAD YOU DO. Haha I do the same thing. Or the blogs that don't post as often, because I mean when you're posting three times a week (*cough*PaperFury*cough*) I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ ALL OF THEM. XD Yes ikr especially in NaNo

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  14. Haha this is so funny XD
    I've only ever heard of like 3-4 guy bloggers, but tbh this is the only one I read XD

    I don't have a blog, but would like to get one eventually.
    What prompted you to start a blog? And was it hard to convince your parents? <-- I think it'll take some convincing for me to start one haha.
    -Faith

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    1. Well thanks!
      Same. Minus the part about reading other ones because I FOUND A FEW I ACTUALLY READ AND THE GUYS ACTUALLY POST? HUZZAH. XD

      Ooh cool! Let me know when you do so I can follow you. :D
      Hm. Well, like I told Krystal I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER? Which sounds really pitiful since that was only like... what, 8 months ago? But no it wasn't that hard to convince my parents but that's probably just because my older sister already had two blogs so. :P

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    2. For sure! I'm not sure if it is something I would do for sure, but just an idea that I'm exploring ;)

      Ahh, I see, well yeah that would make it easier ;P I don't think my dad has a problem with it, it's just that I have to convince there is a need for it, (which I don't really have one, so I'll wait to ask lol XD )

      Happy Thanksgiving!! AND CHRISTMAS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER YAY!! (I apologize, I'm acting like Buddy the elf about Christmas this year XD )
      -Faith

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    3. Haha, well keep exploring that idea. ;) I'd love to see some posts from you! :D

      Yup, definitely. Oh haha well good luck with that!! XD

      RIGHT BACK AT YOU ESADLKJ I'M SO EXCITED.

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  15. Oh this made me laugh. And you poor guy bloggers...all alone. XD

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    1. WELL GOOD GLAD IT DID FOR SOMEONE. :P Well yes, but like I said. More influence for us mwahahaha. xP

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  16. HaHa very interesting. Thought I'm not a 'fanboy' I am a geek and that's kind of like a fanboy (except we are totally more serious about it :D )

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    1. Well thanks, Marrok. Hmm alright well I'll digress that point, but fanboys are more FUN. :P

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  17. It's true, guy bloggers grab my attention right away just because they're guys. But I do like your posts 😁

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  18. This is a fantastic post! Hehe, loved all of your reasons. :D . And your GIFS are spot-on! XD

    Sophie
    lantern-in-her-hand.blogspot.com
    theinkpotgirl.blogspot.com

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  19. This was great Jonathan! I totally relate to #5, great job coming up with all these!

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